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Being Drunk |
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Posted 6/9/2011 at 11:47 AM by Heather F |
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Am I a drunk?
I ask myself this often…
I do sway occasionally when I walk, unable to maintain that straight line as I continue in my gate. I don’t just see the one constant mark beneath my feet as I stumble on to the next thing, images swimming in my vision. When I speak, sometimes I slur my speech… or I use words that don’t exist… or I even change the way to pronounce it… it’s a common mistake right? I find myself engaging in the entire “taboo” topic of discussions such as the no-no’s of same sex marriage, divorce, the failing education system, abortion, religion, and what takes the cake is politics. I say random things just for the hell of it, and I’m upset by the idea of knowing that some can be offensive. I burst out in laughter even when the moment is not deserving of it. I find myself staring up with my mouth open in awe at shiny objects and things that are temporarily capturing my attention during a conversation. To many, I am a spectacle and can act as a distraction and someone to be watched and noticed.
So yeah, I guess I am a drunk, but in my defense…
…I don’t mean it in the literal sense.
I stagger and am unable to walk straight because I live in a grey area with no definite dividers and I don’t witness the world as strictly domestic. I sway, sometimes losing my footing because I have drank from too many adventures and the excitement of it all leaves me dizzy, as if I were pre-gamming. I don’t see the one line on the ground because I am traveling, looking up and forward expectant of what is to come instead of watching down. My speech and words come out jumbled because the sweet taste of ideas are flooding and constantly bubbling up, trying to pop my mind’s cork, and I am persistently and desperately trying to get them all out. The words I make up are a product of the fact that my language is not cheap champagne, rather a fine, aged wine of imagination. Listen, I talk of those topics because I want, wish and long to quench my thirst for answers and I am here, parched; dying of thirst for some input and your opinions because I, myself, am so passionate. My randomness is only brewed spontaneity without censorship. Bursting out into something as pure as laughter serves as my own reminder of knowing that this is the best buzz. I zone out with my crazy antics and objects stealing my attention because I see them differently than most. I see the magic around me and the glitter of a world made to drink, and lap up in our time here. I will choose how I behave over remaining stone cold sober.
…and I have never stopped to ask why?
You see, I am a drunk.
I’m drunk off life.
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